Piety and Mitzvot: The Jewish Choice (Parshat Chayei Sarah)
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Week 5: Parshat Chayei Sarah
Torah Portion: Genesis 23:1 - 25:18
Haftarah Portion: I Kings 1:1 - 1:31
Summary: This portion focuses on Sarah's death, Isaac and Rebekah's marriage, and Abraham's passing. The Haftarah touches on the transition of leadership from David to Solomon, emphasizing continuity and legacy.
Thematic Connection: Continuity and Legacy
By Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary student Jo Beilby
I have a question for you, if you were going to start a family, what attributes would you like it to have?
Come wandering with me…
Judaism is a mitzvah-based tradition, built on the beliefs and values we hold dear. In parashat Chayei Sarah we see the development of these traditions, as we seek them and integrate them into the story of our avot v’imahot, our patriarchs and matriarchs.
It’s a typically hot day in Aram-naharaim, and Eliezer, servant to Abraham, has been sent by Abraham to find a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham and Sarah value hospitality, respect, and kindness, and they have sent Eliezer in search of a woman who embodies these virtues.
Eliezer arrives at the well in Aram-naharaim with 10 thirsty camels. He’s on a mission, charged with a sworn duty. He is to find a woman of virtue. So in earnest, he prays:
“Adonai יהוה, God of my master Abraham’s house, grant me good fortune this day, and deal graciously with my master Abraham:
Here I stand by the spring as the daughters of the townspeople come out to draw water;
let the maiden to whom I say, ‘Please, lower your jar that I may drink,’ and who replies, ‘Drink, and I will also water your camels’—let her be the one whom You have decreed for Your servant Isaac. Thereby shall I know that You have dealt graciously with my master.” (Gen. 24:12-14)
Remember I asked you what attributes you would choose if you were building a family?
The attributes of our matriarchs and patriarchs are virtue driven. They're not aspects of a woman's looks, or a man's handsomeness, but rather, their respect for family, their modesty and their kindness to animals. Why were these things important? Because these are the things that are to shape the Jewish nation to come.
Sarah's life was marked by righteousness and devotion to God. She was known for her kindness, modesty, and hospitality. In this, we find a reminder that a life dedicated to righteousness is immeasurably richer in value. Her legacy is a testament to the idea that it is not the quantity of our years but the quality of our actions that truly matters.
The virtues taught in our origin story clearly define the choices our matriarchs make. Theirs’ is a mitzvot based life, a pious and gracious life. They do so because they choose to do it, not because they are commanded. Jewish theologian Martin Buber teaches us that ultimate authority rests with the individual. “I must distinguish between what is commanded of me and what is not commanded of me.” He said.
Jewish Orthodoxy sees Judaism as commandments that are observed and absorbed as a result of being around other people practising these actions. Orthodoxy is not based on the individual’s informed choice, but rather a strict code of law known as Halacha. Halacha is described by Rabbi Haym Soloveitchik as follows:
“… the Halakhah is a sweepingly comprehensive regula of daily life…it constitutes a way of life. And a way of life is not learned but rather absorbed. Its transmission is mimetic, imbibed from parents and friends, and patterned on conduct regularly observed in home and street, synagogue and school” (Haym Soloveitchik, Rupture and Reconstruction: The Transformation of Contemporary Orthodoxy, Tradition, Vol. 28, No. 4 [Summer 1994]).
In our parashah lies the source of many Halachic laws concerning how to live a Jewish life. The midrashic comment, “Ma’aseh avot siman labanim” (מעשה אבות סימן לבנים), translates as “the stories about our ancestors are of significance to their descendants”.
“The Patriarchic Covenant ... imparts teachings to the Jewish people by example rather than by prescription. While the Sinaitic Covenant tells the Jew what to do and how to act as a member of the covenantal community, the Patriarchal Covenant addresses the ‘I’ awareness of the Jew, teaching him how to experience his Jewishness. It sensitises him in specifically Jewish ways: it expresses attitudes, ideals, and sentiments which still speak to us. It guides our feelings and consciousness rather than our physical acts.
...Our sages teach: Our father Abraham was tested with ten trials [of faith and character] and he withstood them all, demonstrating the extent of Abraham’s love of God. [Avot 5:4] These ten trials, with the climactic [binding of Isaac] Akeida as the supreme expression of martyrdom, are the source of many Jewish traits which are still prevalent amongst our people.
In studying their life experiences... during our impressionable childhood and throughout our adult years, we absorb their values and nuances of feeling into our Jewish consciousness. ‘Every Jew should ask himself, when shall my deeds be like those of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?’ [Tan ’bei Eliyahu Rabba 25]
(Reflections of the Rav. vol. 2 - pg.68)
Given these two positions on observance, the first where ultimate authority rests with the individual as informed choice, the second where the following of Halachic rule is obligatory, we are examining an excellent text today to discern how we engage with Judaism.
Let’s return to our parashah.
The servant Eliezer has found the virtuous Rebekah by the well. He gives her a gold nose ring and gold bangles. He then returns with her to her family home where he negotiates with her father the proposed marriage to Isaac.
Let’s pause and consider this.
Surely our modern-day values are tested in the transactional transfer of a woman from her father to her husband.
From the women of Rebekah’s time to today, do we still treat people as chattels, things we can own? Can you buy us at the well?
Perhaps a more important question is, do some of us behave as if our physical beauty is our highest value? Are we Instagram worthy, carefully cultivated images on social media? Are we for sale to the highest bidder in the workplace? Do we turn a blind eye to the suffering, the homeless, the lost?
Are we lost?
Or are we people who embrace and examine our character traits, (our middot)? Do we work on our strengths and our weaknesses? How have we developed in our lives? What character traits have we developed through our families, our communities, our schooling, and our Judaism?
Have we made the transition from people of virtue to empowered people of virtuous character?
From the story of Rebekah at the well we've travelled many thousands of years, through societal changes, growth and development to become the people we are today. Do you see us at a crossroads? Is equality, discrimination, ethnic conflict, matters of individual and communal differences in virtue?
Consider this: As ideological changes translate into social change, how do we support ourselves and our communities? How do we make sure that our virtues are the things that we bring with us, that support us, not the things that we leave behind?
Judaism asks us to be informed, examine and choose what we accept in our lives, how we behave, the mitzvot we perform. What virtues do you have? What virtues do you wish to have?
There are times when we face hardship, individually or as a community. Our virtues and our spiritual toolkit guide us during these times.
In Chayei Sarah, we are given a tangible link to the land in The Cave of Machpelah, the resting place of our patriarchs and matriarchs, to our heritage, and a testament to the eternal covenant between God and the Jewish people. This burial place is an acknowledgement of the significance of our past, as we embrace the present, and secure the future. It is a call to remember our roots, uphold our values, and pass them down to the generations that follow.
The legacy of Sarah's righteousness, the divine appointment of Isaac and Rebekah, and the symbolism of the Cave of Machpelah, remind us of the enduring lessons and values that our tradition imparts. As we reflect on these teachings, we are challenged to live lives of righteousness and devotion, to trust in divine providence, and to honour our heritage as a source of strength and continuity. Chayei Sarah is not just a Torah portion; it is a guidebook for a meaningful and purposeful life.
Nothing is as certain as change.
At the beginning of the parashah Sarah has died from grief. At the end of the parshah, Abraham also dies. In the middle, we are given Rebekah, who draws her pitcher of water. Water, that universal sign of change, that takes us from one generation to the next, uniting all as it flows.
May we all strive to examine our choices.
May we recognise our own ultimate authority.
May we, in our own meaning-filled way, find connection and continuity in our Jewish heritage.
May we open our hearts to God.
Together, and individually, let us live our lives with chesed, with loving-kindness.
Let us be a virtuous people, generation to generation, l’dor v’dor.
Ken y’hi ratzon. Let it be so.